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Sunday, November 23, 2014

Sunday's Vehicle - P-51 Mustang


Can't find a job.... Thank Harper


The Tax Free Tour (VPRO, Marije Meerman)


House of the Rising Sun (Animals) - COVER by Eva Vergilova


New ad


Catholicism and Judaism

 
Two beggars were sitting side by side on a street in Rome ....
One had a Cross in front of him; the other one was holding a Star of  David.
Many people went by, looked at both beggars, but put money only into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the Cross.
One day, a  procession came past, and it included His Holiness The Pope.
He stopped to  watch the throngs of people giving money to the beggar who held the Cross,  while none gave to the beggar holding the Star of  David.

After a few  minutes, the Pope approached the beggar with the Star of David and said:  "My poor fellow, don't you understand? This is a Catholic  country
.
"This city is the Seat of Catholicism. People aren't going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially when  you're sitting beside a beggar who is holding a Cross."
"In fact, they would probably give more money to him just out of  spite."
 
The beggar with the Star of David listened to the Pope, smiled, and turned to the beggar with the Cross and said:
 
"Bernie, look who's trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about  marketing!"



Thanks Ralph 

Contravention... pour retraités!!!


Les  gens qui travaillent demandent souvent à ceux qui sont à la retraite ce qu'ils font de leur journée.
Eh bien par exemple, l'autre jour avec ma femme, nous sommes allés en ville et nous sommes entrés dans un magasin.

Nous n'y sommes restés que 5 minutes.
Quand nous sommes sortis, un flic était en train de remplir une amende de stationnement interdit pour la voiture.

Nous nous sommes approchés et lui avons demandé
:
« Allez! vous feriez bien un petit geste envers des retraités
. » Il nous a ignorés et a continué de remplir son billet.
Je l'ai traité de gros porc.
Il m'a regardé et a commencé un autre billet pour des pneus lisses.
Alors ma femme l'a traité de roi des trous de cul.  Il a fini le deuxième billet, l'a mis sous l'essuie-glace et en a commencé un troisième.
Ce petit manège a continué pendant 20 minutes; plus on l'insultait, plus il remplissait de contraventions!

Personnellement, on s'en fichait, on était venu en autobus !!!

Depuis notre retraite, nous essayons chaque jour de nous amuser un peu.

C'est important à notre age.

Thanks Ivan


Learning to Cuss


A 6 year old and a 4 year old are raking the yard.

The 6 year old asks, "You know what? I think it's about time we started learning to cuss. "The 4 year old nods his head in approval.

The 6 year old continues, "When we go in for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass."

The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.

When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios.

WHACK!

He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step.

His mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay there until I let you out!"

She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"

"I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your fat ass it won't be Cheerios!"
Thanks Randy

They Walk Among Us!

Just ready to go to bed and I received this chuckle.................. enjoy!!!!

  Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old
fridge, he
  put it in his front yard and hung a Sign on it saying:
  'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.' For three days the fridge
sat
  there without anyone looking twice. He eventually decided that people
were
  too mistrustful of this deal. So he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge
for
  sale $50.'

  The next day someone stole it!

  They walk amongst us!
  -------------------------------------

  *One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone
  shouted.....'Look at that dead bird!' Someone looked up at the sky and
  said...'where?'

  They walk among us!

  ----------------------------------------------------------

  While looking at a house, my brother asked the Estate agent which
direction
  was north because He didn't want the sun waking him up every morning.
  She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?'
  My brother explained that the sun rises in the east And has for
sometime.
  She shook her head and said, 'Oh, I don't keep up with all that
stuff......'

  They Walk Among Us!
  --------------------------------------------

  My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we
overheard
  an admin girl talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to
the
  beach. She drove down in a convertible, but said she 'didn't think she'd
get
  sunburned because the car was moving'.

  They Walk Among Us!
  ------------------------------------

  My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car which is designed to cut
through
  a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the car trunk.
  They Walk Among Us!
  -------------------------------------------------

  I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the
lost
  luggage office and reported the loss. The woman there smiled and told me
not
  to worry because she was a trained professional and said I was in good
  hands. 'Now,' she asked me, 'Has your plane arrived yet?'...
  (I work with professionals like this.)

  They Walk Among Us!
  ------------------------------------------------
  While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza
to
  go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it
cut
  into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time then said 'Just
cut it
  into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.

  They Walk Among Us!
  And last, but not least:

  Dumb as a box of Rocks
  TRUE STORY:

  A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where
Nancy
  Pelosi happened to appear. Ms Pelosi took the opportunity to schmooze
the
  good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at
ease.

  'Would you mind telling me, Doctor,' she asked, 'how you detect a mental
  deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?'

  'Nothing is easier,' he replied. 'You ask a simple question which anyone
  should answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on
the
  track..'

  'What sort of question?' asked Pelosi.

  Well, you might ask, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and
  died during one of them. Which one?''

  Pelosi thought a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, 'You
wouldn't
  happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know
much
  about history.'

  Sadly, they walk among us!
  ---------------------------------------------------------------------

  Traffic Camera: A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic
camera.
  He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even
  though he knew that he was not speeding... Just to be sure, he went
around
  the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again
the
  camera flashed. Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he
drove
  even slower as he passed the area again, but the traffic camera again
  flashed. He tried a fourth time with the same result.. He did this a
fifth
  time and was now laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past,
this
  time at a snail's pace... Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the
mail
  for driving without a seat belt..

  You can't fix stupid.

Thanks Heidi

Parrot

Found a stray parrot on my balcony this morning. 
 
All he says is, "Good morning, you old fart."
 

Thanks Norman
 

How to Putt Over Goose S#!t



Thanks Ralph

Dog Goldberg Machine by Beneful®



Thanks Maria

Three Hillbillies


Three Hillbillies are sitting on a porch shootin' the breeze. 1st Hillbilly says: "My wife sure is stupid, she bought an air conditioner.”

2nd Hillbilly says: "Why is that stupid?"

1st Hillbilly says: "We ain't got no 'lectricity!"

2nd Hillbilly says: "That's nothing, my wife is so stupid, she bought one of them new-fangled warshin' machines!"

1st Hillbilly says: "Why is that so stupid?"

2nd Hillbilly says: "'Cause we ain't got no plummin'"

3rd Hillbilly says: "That ain't nuthin'! My wife is dumber than both yer wives put together!
I was going through her purse the other day lookin' fer some change, and I found 6 condoms in thar."

1st and 2nd Hillbillies say: "Well, what's so dumb about that?"
3rd Hillbilly says: "She ain't got no dick.”


Thanks Ivan

Saturday, November 22, 2014

Saturday's Vehicle - 1960 Great Lakes Bi-plane


Balancing the books Harper style.....

First you make it extremely difficult for laid off workers to collect Unemployment insurance.


Then you make Temporary Foreign Workers pay EI and ensure they don't qualify for benefits.

Next you raise EI premiums to corporations and workers.

Then you lower premiums for small business under the guise of increasing employment.

As the EI fund rises you steal 3 billion dollars, that rightfully belongs to the workers and corporations.

You fail to provide necessary services to the wounded and retired military and save 1.1 billion dollars and return it to the general fund.

You sell off the embassy in London and in Italy and pocket the money.

You claim that Canada is under attack from terrorists then don't spend the money allotted to security of Canada's foreign missions returning the money to the general fund.

You cut and pillage Canada's social programs.

Then you you claim a surplus and give it away to the upper 15% telling those who need it most that it is for their benefit.


$1.1B meant for veterans returned to federal treasury, critics say

READ MORE: http://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/1-1b-meant-for-veterans-returned-to-federal-treasury-critics-say-1.2841417?cmp=rss&utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter